like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
