the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
