Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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