she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
