What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hippo gnu deer
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
