I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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