I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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