the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
