i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
