I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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