Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no, he came in my armpit
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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