the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
