You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
