in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
