we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
where are my eyebrows?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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