Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize