someone threw a dead crab at me
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
