Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
