How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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