There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
how does that bad decision feel?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
