I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
soo... how was my night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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