Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
