she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
