Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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