Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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