eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
