I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
