I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
