Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
