names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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