I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
