Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize