Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
