3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
