My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize