I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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