Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
