Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if only i could text you this smell
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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