Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
