She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
