Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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