Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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