Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
