Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize