She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize