Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
