im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
