oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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