Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize