: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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