names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
