Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
