We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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