Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
