there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
