I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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