letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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