Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
