dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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