I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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