so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize