just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
