i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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