I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
