Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
