My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
