I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
