on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She bit a glass in half.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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