I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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