He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize