Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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