We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
