I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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