There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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