Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
