Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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